pantene has an ad with the tag line, "why are women always apologizing?"
the ad features a series of common, everyday scenes that sometimes occur between two people (such as accidentally bumping into one another). each scene shows a man and a woman doing something for which neither is at fault. in every single scene, the woman apologizes. even though no apology is necessary.
i like these ads. and........i don't like them.
i like them because i agree that an anxiety-driven need to please (which this ad implies, not subtly, is the fate of women - because women have been socialized to make nice) is unhealthy. and wrong. and we should stop it.
i like that.
i like them because after they show the series of events in which the woman apologizes, they re-do the scenes, with neither party apologizing......because neither party did anything wrong.
i like that, too.
but.....that's also why i don't like them.
i don't want to end my life looking back over it, knowing that i spent a good chunk of it counting up every time i did something nice - "unnecessarily" - and every time somebody else (of any gender) didn't.
i don't want to end my life getting even.
i don't want to end it angry.
i don't want to end it thinking you owe me more than i owe you.
i also don't know what in the world apologizing has to do with washing your hair.
sorry, pantene.
