i'm not telling you how to run your monarchy

i'm not. but if i were:

• dump the matching dress and coat that fall, ugh, just below your knees.
• dump the matching hat.
• if you need help dressing like a queen, watch my 3- and 6-year old granddaughters when they're playing dress-up.
• there is not a 3- or 6-year old female child anywhere on the planet who dresses up like a queen in sensible pumps dyed the same color as the dress. (and the coat. and the hat.)
• sit on your throne a little more often. wear your crown every day.
• when i was homecoming queen, believe you me, i wore the crown.
• stop with that itty bitty hand wave. you're the queen, for heaven's sake. you oughta either a.) do "the wave," or b.) do the happy dance. a fist bump would work, too. come on.
• could you possibly, for one flippin second, smile?
• as in, smile like you mean it.
• get a glass coach.
• they can't be that expensive.
• besides.
• just put it on england's credit card.
• get the crown jewels outa the tower of london and wear them. you're the flippin' queen of england!
• better yet......give them to charlotte.
• she really doesn't want that
• silver spoon.