hogs in a comforter

of all the things wrong with the world, i think it all boils down to looking for something better in all the wrong places.

take pigs in a blanket, for example.

pigs in a blanket -  in and of themselves -  is an example of trying to come up with something better. what's wrong with pigs out of the blanket? 

now along comes a recipe for "hogs in a comforter." whereas pigs in a blanket are little hot dogs wrapped in crescent dough, hogs in a comforter are big sausages wrapped in a pancake. because just eating a sausage with a pancake isn't good enough.

there are countless examples in our world of someone trying to make a better mousetrap. which might not be so bad if people kept it to mousetraps. but, they don't.

they take their creativity to the ultimate place - the Creator. and they try to re-make him. re-shape him, re-define him into something a little more palatable to their tastes. or grind him up in the garbage disposer, if that's what it takes.

you don't have to make something better, folks.

it's already here.

sacrifices that don't hurt

i stood behind a guy at the grocery store who was buying, among other things, a case of non-alcoholic "wine." he said that he has given up wine for Lent. it struck me that giving up something and then immediately replacing it with the closest thing you can get to it isn't really giving up much at all. (except, in this situation, if you're a full-on alcoholic, i guess it certainly would be.)

then, as i waited for the cashier to finish ringing up this guy's order (and as i waited while they price-checked the "wine" - because the guy about had a heart attack when it rang up at $2.99 a bottle and he threw a big hissy fit and demanded to see the manager, etc. etc. etc.)......as i waited for all of this hullabaloo to subside, i glanced into my own cart......

having given up meat (and pasta and anxiety and hatin' on obama) for Lent, i saw that i had the fixins for a fine fish meal.......lemon piccata trout and homemade french fries with blue cheese. not exactly spartan. not exactly a sacrifice.

so, being the human being that i am, did i turn around in line and go back to the aisles to return the overblown stuff i had put into my cart? being the human being that i am, no. i did not.

being the human being that i am, did i fix my trout dinner last night, minus the frills? being the human being that i am, no. i did not. i ate with gusto.

but, being the human being that's trying to be a better one than i am, my conscience (read: Holy Spirit) has bugged me ever since enjoying that gourmet plate full of fish. and even more than my gourmet plate full of fish, my conscience (Holy Spirit) has bugged me that i rolled my eyes at the guy at kroger who bought fake wine instead of real wine. and because my conscience the Holy Spirit has bugged me, i'm gonna pay attention to it....... for the rest of Lent, i'm gonna eat simple fish. not fancy-ass fish.


good thing i didn't  give up wine, though.  :)

now that i think about it

if you don't know my favorite 

song

how could you think you

loved

me?



the stylistics

(or maybe it was the chi-lites, i always

get those two

mixed

up) said that if they could,

they'd catch a falling star

to shine on you

so i'd know where you are,

order rainbows

in your favorite shade

but i never even knew what


that


was.

just some random this and thats

• this is an awful world.
• this is a wonderful world.
• this is an awful wonderful world.
• if you take hot cocoa to a construction worker who's working in the cold, he won't accept it. it's "against the rules." because this is an awful world.
• if you smile, people usually smile back. because this is a wonderful world.
• if you're breathing, you're a sinner. because this is an awful world.
• if you're a sinner.......breathe. you can be forgiven. because this is a wonderful world.
• if you're a woman and you need to buy new jeans, it's an awful world.
• if you're a woman and you need to buy a new bathing suit, it's worse.
• if you live in columbus, ohio and you didn't get any of the snow that you love and that's pounding new england, it's an awful world.
• if you live in columbus, ohio and you didn't get any of the snow that you love and that's pounding new england and you're envious, it's a wonderful world. because you're forgiven.
• if you don't know much about history, don't know much biology, don't know much about algebra, don't know what a slide rule is for, but you do know that one and one is two and if this one could be with You (and i am)..........what a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful world this could be.
• is.

it doesn't have to be true to be true

according to a mixture of legend and ecclesiastical scholarship, st. apollonia was a.ma.zing. (not that any saint isn't.)

story goes that during the persecution of Christians in alexandria in 249 AD, apollonia was abducted, her jaw and teeth were broken, and she was ordered to blaspheme against God or else be thrown into the fiery pit that had been built outside the city gates. apollonia is said to have asked her captors for a little time to think things over. she freed herself from her bonds, ran directly to the fire, and voluntarily jumped in. 

some folks say this amounts to suicide - which is tremendously sinful -  and other folks say this is the height of Christian love - spare your enemy from sinning. (and, no doubt, others say this is just a bunch of made-up crap.)

i say, it doesn't matter. any way you slice it, we should all be like apollonia.

if she committed suicide and went to hell for it, then wow, what a lady. willing to go to hell so maybe somebody else won't have to.

if it's made-up crap, then wow, what a grasp storytellers through the ages have had on what it means to really love God first and neighbor an incredibly close second.

the point is, it's the story that matters. not the truth or not of it. it's the ideal that matters. 

but, nobody cares about ideals anymore. if they did, "leave it to beaver" would still be on.