everybody wanted me to be angry when my husband left. but i wasn't. not that i didn't have my moments - i'm human - but mostly, anger isn't what i felt. and even when it was, i tried to replace it with something better. i tried to replace it with love.
for the most part, i have succeeded.
anger is a very popular emotion these days. everybody thinks it's essential to being "healthy." which is sad - because it hardly ever does any good. and even when it does, most of the time (if not all of the time) the good that it does could have been accomplished another way - a better way - by being loving instead of being all pissed off and alienating folks - including, usually, the very one(s)you are hoping your anger will motivate to change.
in other words, if you can kill more flies with honey than with vinegar, why do you keep using vinegar?
because you think anger is righteous. you think you're entitled to it. maybe you think you're setting an example for others (oh, you are. believe me........you are) and maybe you think you're being somebody's hero. maybe you think you're standing up for not just yourself but for whole groups of people as in, say with my example, for all wives who've been dumped by their husbands.
and, ok, maybe your anger is righteous. maybe you are entitled to it. maybe (no, definitely) you are setting an example. but with your way of handling things, i don't want you on anybody's fire department.
one of the angriest things in the world is fire. it literally rages out of control. but other than destruction, what does it accomplish?
and how do firefighters fight it? with matches? or with cold water?
do you consider a firefighter who enters carefully, selflessly - and yes, lovingly - to be a wimp? i don't. i consider him to be exactly what you're trying to be with your anger........on top. the winner. a hero.
vindicated.
buddha said, "hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love."
if you don't believe me......
believe him.
