today would have been my 16th wedding anniversary. had my husband, per bjorkman, not decided to leave me.
yesterday, looking ahead to today, was hard. but i hid it well. i didn't show it, i don't think anyone had a clue, and i only discussed it with two very special people.
but today was easy. i wonder why that is.
perhaps it's because i had myself so prepared for today that once it came, it was like no big deal.
or maybe it's because i spent the day babysitting the kids and so i was too distracted (i was!) to think about it.
or maybe it's because i don't love him anymore.
but i do love him anymore. in some ways, i actually love him more. and that, i think, is the BINGO:
i have replaced tremendous hurt with more love. i didn't do that on my own. not by a long shot. i had the never-ending support of family and close friends - who had the never-ending support of God. because no one can support, never mind love, a pathetic, self-pitying, boo-hooing, curled-up-in-a-ball-and-feeling-like-dying person like i was without the help of God. on their own, human beings just get pissed with people like me. or don't know what to say. but with God, they can do great things.
so can i. so have i.
and so can my ex-husband.
find Him, per.
