1. i pull out of the parking garage, drive around to the gate, and there's a car in front of me. ok, so, the way the gate works is, when you are entering the parking garage, you have to press a button on a gizmo in your car that's just like a garage door opener, but when you are leaving the garage, the gate opens automatically for you - provided you are close enough to the gate. right? so, ok, this car in front of me is not close enough to the gate for the gate to open so i stop, assuming the car is going to roll forward a little bit and get close enough to the gate, only it doesn't. the driver just sits there. i wait and i wait and i wait for the driver to finally start moving, only she never does. so, i start to go around her and then, i see her tires rolling. so i stop. right? because i think she's finally getting her ass in gear and movin' along. right? wrong. because then, she stops again. i wait and i wait and i wait for her to start moving again, only she never does. so, you guessed it, i start again to go around her and then, a-gain, i see her tires rolling. so, a-gain, i stop. and, you guessed it again, she stops again. so, i'm like, WT?? right? so finally, since she is just sitting there like a bump on a log, this time i really and truly drive around her, the gate opens, and i leave. but not before she shoots me a dirty, dirty look. because, excuuuuuuuuuuuuse her, but she was on her cell phone.
2. same day - same street: a car in front of me stops to talk to people in a car parked at the curb. i wait patiently. they talk and they talk and they talk. and they talk. and they talk. so, finally, i give a very polite little tap on the horn. i mean, very polite. so polite, it was practically a curtsy. so whadda they do? the lady in the passenger's seat sticks her head out the window and gives me a rotten look and the driver sticks his hand out his window and gives me the finger.
3. i go to coldstone creamery for, what else, an ice cream cone. i wait and i wait and i wait at the counter but no sales person is in sight. i call out, "excuse me! anybody here?" a coupla times, but no sales person in sight. i am finally getting ready to give up and just say the hell with it, i'll go to dairy queen or something, when out from the back room comes this little jerk of an employee, talking on her cell phone. she looks at me, makes eye contact with me, and just keeps right on yapping, yapping, yapping. i stand there in amazement. finally, she lifts her chin from the phone and says, "help ya?" and.....against my better judgment.....i proceed with my order. "yes, i'll have the cake batter ice cream, small size, waffle cone." she keeps talking. on the phone - not to me. blah, blah, blah.....talk, talk, talk. "you want it in a cup or a cone?"
cone.
two cones?
one.
huh?
why don't you hang up the damned phone and maybe you could get my order right.
she hangs up. and says, "i was like, talking to my boss!"
and i was like, next time you talk to your boss? ask him if he'd rather that you talk to him - or to the customers.
(but truthfully? i don't wanna know his answer.)
