kroger was interesting yesterday.
i went, with a mere 15 items on my list, and of those 15, they only had 3. for the other 12, i had to substitute. it was un.real.
first of all, i needed fresh dill, chives, mint, and cilantro. i had a coupon for an organic brand - which kroger had issued - except, turns out, they don't carry that brand. happy frickin' new year to you, too.
so, ok, never mind the stupid coupon - i'll buy another brand. but, noooooooo! they don't have another brand. or, more accurately, they do - but, they're out of it.
so, i tell the produce lady that there's no chives or cilantro or mint or dill in the store and she doesn't much seem to care. i ask if her if she could please look in the back and see if there's any back there, which, after a badly chosen couple seconds of delay, she does. and she comes out with all 4, but none of them in the form that i wanted them. none of them. but, ok, so i'll take it. thank you, lady, for pretty much nothin.
so then i go to the seafood department and ask if they have fresh tilapia and the guy says, "no." and i say, "really???? are you kidding me????" and the guy says, "no."
he says, "we have frozen, that's all," and i say, "well, i don't want frozen, i want fresh," and he says, "i think there might be one package of fresh back in the back," and i say, "well, then......could you please go get it for me!" and he goes in the back and comes back out with this honkin' big package of fresh tilapia, with about 8 fillets in it, and i say, "sir, i only need 1 fillet - 2, tops," and he says, "i can't divide the package up," and i say, "why not," and he says, "just can't."
so, ok, i buy the honkin' big package of fresh tilapia with 8 fillets in it when really, i only need 1.
so then i go to the dairy aisle to buy some plain greek yogurt and all i need is a small size. let's just cut to the chase, shall we? i came home with a honkin' big carton of plain greek yogurt.
i needed smoked almonds in the small size but they were out of 'em in the small size.
i needed plain, frozen, uncooked chicken breasts but all they had were seasoned, frozen, uncooked chicken breasts or plain, frozen, uncooked chicken strips. so i bought the strips. (and when i got 'em home, i cooked one, and it was flavored.)
happy frickin' new year.
i forget what else i tried to buy but couldn't because stupid ass kroger was out of it. all i know is, i came home with only 3 things that were right - some oxi-clean dishwaser booster, some cat food, and a stinkin' thank you card.
(although, i shouldn't say "stinkin." especially since the card is for my lawyer friend, marissa, who gave me a very nice bottle of wine.)
thank you, marissa.
now, go sue kroger.
