first of all, it's a sacrilege to get rid of any monopoly piece. one thing about a monopoly is.......once you have it, you leave it alone.
but parker brothers sees things differently. (probably because the parker brothers are long since dead and the company is now being run by a bunch of yahoos - though, granted, filthy rich yahoos - who probably went to school with mark zuckerberg. ok........so, filthy rich and smart.)
but not smart enough, apparently.
parker brothers, makers of monopoly, is asking THE PEOPLE to vote on which of their 8 iconic monopoly game pieces should get the boot. (well.......i'll tell ya one thing.......not the shoe! - get it? boot? shoe? pay attention!)
(and i'll tell ya another thing - if you have a monopoly, you don't ask THE PEOPLE what they think about it. period.)
anyway.......
so parker brothers wants to know which game piece everybody thinks should go. and at first blush, of course, everybody says the wheelbarrow. because who uses wheelbarrows anymore? besides farmers who are probably too dead tired at the end of the day to even think about monopoly, let alone play it.
but that leads quickly to consideration of eliminating the thimble. because who uses those things anymore?
the next thing that pops into your mind is the little dog. not because you think the little dog should go (on the contrary.......you think the little dog is the last piece to go!), but because by now, you're trying to remember what all those 8 pieces are anyway. and so of course, your favorite one pops immediately into your mind. and of course, everybody's favorite is the dog. (unless you're hyped up on testosterone, in which case it's the race car.)
from the dog, your mind wanders to the other 5 pieces and you try for the life of you to remember what they are. if you're normal, you're able to think of seven of them, but not all eight.( kinda like the seven dwarfs - everybody always leaves one dwarf out.)
so you google "monopoly game pieces" and you have an "a-ha!" moment that not even having somebody land on your broadway that's got a hotel on it and so does park place - which you also own - can match. and you suddenly feel the little bumps of the thimble and the smooth flatness of the hat.
and you remember how you used to wonder to yourself........ how long would it take to iron even just a simple handkerchief - if i used this little, dinky iron?
and then the ship - and the shoe! i loved the shoe!
so then, you line them all up in your mind - the dog, the wheelbarrow, the thimble, the race car, the hat, the ship, the iron, and the shoe - and you realize that none of them can go. none of them! getting rid of one of the monopoly pieces would be like trying to figure out which weapon in the game of "clue" should go.
although, if THE PEOPLE decide that, too, it'd be a slam dunk - the gun.
so, fine. get rid of the gun.
unfortunately, somebody's still gonna die.
