there's bullying and then there's being mean. but try telling that to the world.
calling someone fat or stupid or ugly or even fag isn't bullying. it's mean. just like spanking a kid isn't child abuse - it's harsh.
it is no wonder that we have lost perspective on the subject of bullying because we have lost perspective on the subject of everything. we have lost so much perspective that actor will smith was recently quoted as saying something to the effect that he and his wife don't punish - or discipline- their kids. what they do instead is, they expect and require their kids to be able to defend whatever it is they did. if they can defend it (what kid can't?), then fine. no consequence.
oy vey.
but back to the point. the point is, there is a difference between being bullied and being treated rotten. in the former case, a kid is not expected to be able to cope. in the latter, he is. or should be. one of the biggest problems we have today with quote unquote bullying and with being treated rotten is that there aren't many parents around - especially parents who go to church and practice something higher than their own opinions - there aren't enough of those kind of parents around who still take the time - the tiiiiiime - and the thought - the thought! - and the energy (all the energy's being used up at "the gym") to actually sit down, consistently, day after day after one moment of social injustice after the next and teach. the. kids. to. cope. teach the kids to return hatred with love. instead of returning hatred with a lawsuit.
i remember all the occasions in my life as a kid when i would come home from school in tears. because someone had said or done something really mean or unkind or hurtful to me - what we would today call "bullying" - and i remember that on every single occasion, my parents, doing their job as parents, explained a little 3rd grade (and then 5th grade and 8th grade and senior year) psychology to me. and the lesson was always the same - not because my parents couldn't think of anything new to say - but because the lesson is the same: people who are mean feel way worse about themselves than they do about me. which is why they are mean. so, feel sorry for them. be nice to them. help them.
pray for them.
(yeah. my parents learned that in church. i mean, they learned it in their parents' church.)
