i need involvement.
i have a friend who travels the world constantly. at least the asian, american, and european parts of it. you just never know from day to day where he might pop up. his facebook pictures prove it. this guy is on crack with traveling.
mostly, i don't leave the couch.
i tell myself that i am content with that - and that's not a lie. i am content with it. but i worry why i'm content with it.
i also worry that maybe i've stopped living.
everyone has heard, at least a million times, the old adage "walk a mile in my shoes." somebody said that to me the other day - about another subject altogether - and now it's my turn: walk a mile in mine.
i don't say that to garner sympathy or even support. i have a lot of both - and i appreciate it. but it's not the same thing as wearing my size 7 mediums.
for the most part, if you ask me to do something - whatever it is - i'm not gonna wanna do it. at which point, everyone's voices start ringing in my ears - some scolding and some irritated - but most of them well-meaning and trying to be encouraging.
it usually makes me feel worse. mile/shoes.
i never used to have a "safe zone," but boy, oh, boy.......i have one now. couch. patio. grocery store. target (no more target for me from now on, however - don't get me started). the kids. church. library. driving. work.
that last one - work - is what keeps me half-sane. by definition, my job requires me to put on somebody else's shoes. excellent antidote for your 7 mediums that lately seem to be rubbing a lot of blisters.
lots of people are out there doing things - living. i'm living, too, but i don't know if i'm growing. maybe i am - just in less obvious ways than the rest of you are growing. if you measure growing by how many planes you've jumped out of or how many concerts you've gone to or how many places you've visited or how many times you eat out each week, then, no. i'm not.
if you measure living by the same standards, then, no. i'm not.
but if i sit out on my patio and count how many deep thoughts i've had today or how many times i've thanked God for what He has done for me or how many times i've reminded myself to be be a better (not necessarily more active) person, then, yeah. i'm livin' it up. i really am.
i sorta like my yardstick for measurement, come to think of it. or, more precisely, i sorta like my whatchamacallit they used to use to measure what size shoe you wear.
charlie brown? you still have the job.
:)
