i was in a 5th grade class the other day and, as usual, the 5th graders were calling each other - and their teacher - "effen w--," "effen n--," and effen everything else. except they didn't say "effen." if you know what i mean.
sometimes they said it in anger and sometimes they said it to be "nice," as in, "you my effen dawg, man."
they said it loudly and aggressively and they said it in normal conversational tones.
it was an effen regular day in a public school.
but then, i noticed something that was not effen regular at all. i noticed a stack of paper bags - the size you'd use to pack your lunch in (or even your effen lunch in). only these bags weren't brown. they were white. pure, crisp, whiter-than-snow, and unblemished white. i wondered what they were for.
i didn't wonder long.
next to the stack of white paper bags was a stack of construction paper - red, pink, and purple construction paper. and next to the construction paper was a big box, filled with things like glitter and glue and doilies and stickers and ribbons and bows.
glitter and glue and doilies and stickers and ribbons and bows.
in the land of "effen," there are kids who still want a valentine.
and it struck me. it struck me. those effen kids who want a valentine do not want an effen valentine - they want a nice, sweet, innocent, non-effen valentine. just like they want (need) a nice, sweet, innocent, non-effen life.
they want a nice, sweet, innocent, non-effen life. but we have told them they can't have it.
we have told them that nice, sweet, innocent, non-effen lives are fairy tales - the kind that feature beaver cleaver - but not the kind that feature real people.
we have told them that the "real world" isn't nice and sweet and innocent and non-effen and so, they don't need to be, either.
we have told them to wear what we wear, talk like we talk, swear like we swear, rap what we rap, and disrespect what we disrespect - which is pretty much everything. we disrespect family. we disrespect religion. we disrespect tradition. we disrespect effen life, and if you don't think so, refresh your memory how the supreme court ruled on roe v. wade.
but these kids - these so-called "modern family" kids - these kids who don't have two parents out there somewhere in the world (never even mind in the home) who give a crap about them, these kids who are being raised by themselves or by a "latchkey program" because their moms are too busy advancing their careers to do it, these kids who are being force-fed this line of bull about everything being a choice and nothing being inherently good or bad - these kids want an effen valentine. they want an effen valentine that looks like effen valentines used to look - back in the day before they became effen valentines.
and if they want that, why do we continue to fool ourselves that they don't want more?
why do we continue to rail that they don't want decency and stability and custom and reliability and a dad who goes to work because he wants to feed his family, not because he wants to be "fulfilled?"
why won't we admit that they want pants that don't sag and fellow students who do raise their hands and a hot breakfast at home instead of this government-issued crap?
that, despite what self-actualized hillary clinton thinks, they do want a nice cookie waiting for them when they get home from school. at 3:30 - not 6:00. and a parent who has the time and patience and love - and lack of selfishness - to give it to them.
they want an effen "valentine".
but we won't effen let 'em have it.
