wow, no lie, there was a murder in my building last night!
well, ok, maybe there was a murder.
when i woke up this morning and stepped out in the hall with my dog, i heard voices walkie-talkie-ing back and forth. i stopped. i listened more carefully......
yep. the cops. they were in my building. and they were using "cop speech" back and forth with one another.
my dog picked up the scent. (no, literally. she did.) she tugged on the leash to go this way when all i wanted to do was go that way. (not thataway, as in, "she went thataway, officer!".......just regular, ordinary, thataway.)
she tugged. and tugged. the cop speech was everywhere. i followed my dog.
we didn't have far to go. the unit catty-corner from me was the. scene. of. the. crime.
an officer was standing in the doorway and the door was open. i saw blood everywhere. i mean, everywhere. my dog leaped forward. i pulled on her leash as hard as i could which isn't all that hard given the fact that i have been warned not to climb stairs or lift anything heavy thanks to that stupid antibiotic that i was on that could potentially rip my tendons to smithereens.
i "pulled" on the leash. pippi pulled back and, three guesses who won. this basset hound was determined to scope out the scene. she wasn't bred for hunting for nothin, y'know.
i asked the police guy what in tarnation is going on. he answered in the kind of voice you expect a police guy to answer in when there's blood all over the place: "step back, ma'am."/ "can't discuss it, ma'am."/ don't know yet, ma'am."
immediately, my senses kicked into gear. it's amazing how fast a stupid old lady from central ohio can turn into matlock.......
i noticed the lack of yellow crime tape.
i saw the bloody glove. yes. there was a bloody glove. i am sooooooooo not lying.
i saw the case (my suspicions were that it was empty.....turned out, my suspicions were spot on. i mean, matlock on) of bud light.
i heard cop voices - lots of them - coming from inside the apartment.
i wished i'd had my little notebook with me.
after pippi and i came back inside from her potty break, i thought of something. a tip, maybe. anything. anything at all that you can remember, ma'am, that might help......
two weeks ago, there was a man outside the apartment in question, now known as SOTC (scene of the crime) passed out drunk. stone, cold drunk. if it hadn't been for his thunderously loud snoring, i probably woulda thought he was dead. (am i prophetic??????)
i reported the guy to the management here. i thought they should know that a resident or a guest of a resident or somebody who somehow cracked the security code and got in here was lying stone, cold drunk on the floor outside the SOTC. the management thanked me for letting them know and told me, which was really none of my business, that the resident of the SOTC has "a problem with alcohol."
no foolin.
anyway, so i told the cop who was straddling the doorway of the SOTC what i knew about the drunk from 2 weeks ago. the cop's eyes narrowed. his eyebrows went up. oh, crap, i thought, when am i ever gonna learn to keep my big mouth shut?
he asked me a few questions. confirmed that i had, indeed, reported this to management. wanted to know where i live. "right there," i pointed. (why the hell didn't i lie??????????) told me they might have more questions for me later.
so, long story short, i might have to hire matlock.
provided matlock's still alive.
ooooooooo........"provided matlock's still alive".............
the plot thickens.
