for some reason, i love katie holmes. sup with me, right?
first of all, sorry, katie, but you're not that great of an actress. you're just not. you're good, but you're not great. and no, that's not just compared to your husband. compared to anybody, you're not that great of an actress. sorry.
second, your daughter's hair is too long. it was too long when she was born and it's even longer now and she looks like you guys can't afford to take her to get a haircut which, i'm sure that's not really the case. (is it?)
the other thing is and, look here, i'm all for freedom of religion, but you gotta admit.......yours is a little out there.
that thing that tom did a few years back when he jumped on oprah's couch? now, i realize that it was tom who did that - not you - but still. how i can like you so much when you're married to a goofball like that, well, i don't know.
but i do. i like you. i really, really like you.
(too bad you'll never win an oscar, cuz sally and i just wrote your speech for ya.)
