like pine tree-scented dangling air fresheners for your car, for instance.
my friend in virginia just got picked up for driving with one of those. unbeknownst to her and to everyone with a brain, those things are illegal in virginia. three cop cars later and now my friend knows.
the seat belt on my car - driver's seat - broke yesterday. i briefly considered ignoring it and pretending it wasn't broken at all, which is what a lot of people do with their whole lives and which is why i have a job. but i decided not to ignore it after all.
about 3,000 phone calls later (it only took 3 cop cars for you, carrie), i learned a lot of things. one, i learned that it is illegal in the state of ohio for anyone other than a dealership mechanic to fix or replace a seat belt.
i learned that it takes 2-10 days for my dealership to get me a new seat belt. and then it takes about an hour to install it. somethin' wrong with that picture.
i learned that i have to pay up front for the new seat belt and the labor, even though neither one has yet happened. somethin' really wrong with that picture.
i learned that if you talk to the service department, they'll tell you you need a whole new seat belt. if you talk to the parts department, they'll tell you you only need the strap but not the buckle. if you talk again to the service department and tell them what the parts department said, the service department will tell you that they don't sell just the strap or just the buckle but only the whole enchilada. if you talk to the parts department again and tell them what the service department said, the parts department will say they really don't know.
that makes two of us, bub.
i learned that if you call Enterprise and ask them to pick you up, they'll say sure, what time? and you'll say 9 and they'll say 1? and you'll say, no, not 1....9. and they'll say, 1? got it.
i learned that, very, very likely, i won't be going anywhere today.
